Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Reasons Primary Teachers make good spies!

I've been out of action for a while, what with Finals, Graduation, new job and new houses all going on. But I can safely say that life on the other side of University is great... although slightly more sober, regular payslips make a world of difference!

Anyway, I was one of the lucky ones who managed to find a job and I'm currently loving my position as Reception Class Teacher at a school in Leeds and it got me thinking. Teachers would make AMAZING spies! Random I know, but if you think about it, it actually makes a lot of sense.

Teachers are great at conflict resolution, sorting out disagreements and finding out exactly what has happened in a situation (information extraction without force/torture is good right?) They can calm down children who are inconsolable, having a tantrum or just kicking off in general. They work well under pressure and can work/concentrate on one thing while lots of other things are going on around. They can work with all this noise and yet still pick out voices in the background, without looking at a child, and figure out exactly who has said what to whom!

They are cryptographers, can decode handwriting, horrendous spellings, backwards letters and random shapes, numbers and splodges to figure out exactly what is written on that tiny piece of paper, post-it note or toilet wall, and figure out exactly who wrote it

Bodily fluids are no match for a primary school teacher; poo, wee, snot, blood and sick are all daily occurrences and are dealt with efficiently, and so no trace is left (we'd be well good at cleaning up after a dead body!)

Teachers can find and fix anything! Missing coats/boots/wellies/socks/toys/children/small animals and bobbles, you name it, it has gone missing and a teacher has found it! They fix friendships, tables, toys, robots, banged knees and bumped heads.

But most importantly; give a teacher a bag of yoghurt pots, toilet roll tubes and old cereal packets and they can make anything you've ever dreamed of! Including, but not limited to, Rockets, Spaceships, Aliens, Bird Boxes, Aeroplanes, Cars, Children and Cottages!

So, there you have it! All you Primary Teachers out there (especially you EYFS lot) get out there and sign up for MI5!

You can do it!

R x