Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Reasons Primary Teachers make good spies!

I've been out of action for a while, what with Finals, Graduation, new job and new houses all going on. But I can safely say that life on the other side of University is great... although slightly more sober, regular payslips make a world of difference!

Anyway, I was one of the lucky ones who managed to find a job and I'm currently loving my position as Reception Class Teacher at a school in Leeds and it got me thinking. Teachers would make AMAZING spies! Random I know, but if you think about it, it actually makes a lot of sense.

Teachers are great at conflict resolution, sorting out disagreements and finding out exactly what has happened in a situation (information extraction without force/torture is good right?) They can calm down children who are inconsolable, having a tantrum or just kicking off in general. They work well under pressure and can work/concentrate on one thing while lots of other things are going on around. They can work with all this noise and yet still pick out voices in the background, without looking at a child, and figure out exactly who has said what to whom!

They are cryptographers, can decode handwriting, horrendous spellings, backwards letters and random shapes, numbers and splodges to figure out exactly what is written on that tiny piece of paper, post-it note or toilet wall, and figure out exactly who wrote it

Bodily fluids are no match for a primary school teacher; poo, wee, snot, blood and sick are all daily occurrences and are dealt with efficiently, and so no trace is left (we'd be well good at cleaning up after a dead body!)

Teachers can find and fix anything! Missing coats/boots/wellies/socks/toys/children/small animals and bobbles, you name it, it has gone missing and a teacher has found it! They fix friendships, tables, toys, robots, banged knees and bumped heads.

But most importantly; give a teacher a bag of yoghurt pots, toilet roll tubes and old cereal packets and they can make anything you've ever dreamed of! Including, but not limited to, Rockets, Spaceships, Aliens, Bird Boxes, Aeroplanes, Cars, Children and Cottages!

So, there you have it! All you Primary Teachers out there (especially you EYFS lot) get out there and sign up for MI5!

You can do it!

R x

Saturday, 19 January 2013

Newcastle or Leeds

It is getting to that time of my life where I have to make some pretty big decisions. Decisions I have absolutely no idea how I feel about. Currently, I am still in the middle of placement, but, soon enough I will be applying for jobs and looking for something for the foreseeable future. And that is TERRIFYING!

The main decision I have to make is whether to stay where I am in Newcastle or to move back down to Leeds. There is one school in Newcastle where I have always said I would absolutely love to work in and the possibility of getting a job there would be the deal breaker for staying in Toon. However, despite the fact that it is looking increasingly likely that a job is going to become available in September. (In Reception no less) I am finding myself still drawn to Leeds.

As for Leeds, there is one thing that would make me stay there over everything else. But I'll have to wait and see about that. Thinking about living in Leeds and spending another year in a house with Liv and Emily and all their hilarity is making me wonder why I ever wanted to live anywhere else! Seriously I have amazing people down in Leeds and as I'm writing this I'm wanting more and more to be back in Leeds. I just really don't know what to do! There is no guarantee I would get the job up here, but if I did it would be unbelievable. The things I could learn and the support I'd have behind me would be incredible. Yet I have no idea what the schools in Leeds would be like. They could be just as good if not better, I could always move back home later and spend a few years in Leeds first...Argh, I just don't know.

Looks like I've got some serious thinking to do :-(

Sunday, 6 January 2013

Vegans can't wear condoms...and other random points

First of all I would like to say I am not anti-vegan, nor a vegan hater! In fact I admire anyone who actually is a vegan. But that is where my problem lies...find me an actual vegan! I know rather a lot of people who claim to be vegans but are actually just vegetarians when you look at it properly. Being a vegan is difficult...VERY difficult which is why I have a lot of respect for those who actually are strict vegans.

For example: This is how the Oxford English Dictionary defines Vegan.

Definition of vegan

noun


a person who does not eat or use animal products:

Now, this is where it starts getting grey. People who define themselves as vegans; are they stating they follow a vegan diet or a vegan lifestyle, which would link with the second part of the definition linking to animal products.

To start with lets stick with a vegan diet. Now, not consuming animal products means ANY part of the animal, so naturally produce like meat and fish, milk and eggs are out of the picture. But so many 'vegans' will consume other products made with animal products. Here are some examples of foods commonly eaten by vegans I know, which are not 'Vegan Friendly'

Bread- Made with milk and butter (which is made with milk)
Egg pasta- made with egg (obviously)
Durum Wheat Pasta- made with milk
Quorn- Yup, its made using eggs people!
Honey- not vegan friendly because it 'exploits bees' (seriously...Click here)
Anything with Red food colouring- made from Cochineal beetles
Baileys, drambuie, most beers and wines, Lilt and lilt zero- all use animal products to filter and purify them.
Anything made with butter, ghee, gelatin (which is found in most sweets, chocolates and jellies)
Torlillas and wraps
Home/traditional home recipes or baking

And that's just the diet! Seriously, anyone sticking to this deserves a medal. Being a vegan is not easy! 

Living a pure vegan lifestyle is even harder! most shampoos, soaps, washing powders, washing up liquids, cleaning products and even clothing contains animal products! 

No body lotions with beeswax in them, Lynx test their products on animals (or used to), scented body lotions, hair gels, waxes, serums, sprays also sometimes contain things made with milk proteins as they are good for the skin...Seriously there are milk proteins EVERYWHERE!

also...condoms. Vegans cannot use run of the mill condoms. Latex is made using a milk protein called Casein and therefore unsuitable for vegans! (science nerd moment)

So there you have it... Being a vegan is bloody difficult and 9/10 vegans will have slipped up at some point, probably inadvertently, as animal products and milk proteins are hidden everywhere!

Kudos if you've managed it though! Me? Not a chance!

p.s if you want to take it further, no football either!

Google everything if you don't believe me!