Monday, 17 September 2012

Halfords, Hats and Hideous Maths!

Today is Day 1 in Operation Get-Fit (aka, justify spending scary amounts of money on a shiny new bike) and it has made me realise how incredibly unfit I am. After a nice casual walk down to Halfords in Kirkstall, about 2 miles, I was pleasantly surprised with myself...that was until I actually got on the bike and cycled back. Uphill. Dying does not even begin to cover it!

Naturally I was expecting love, care and possibly even a cup of tea from my concerned housemates...then I remembered who I lived with, and sure enough, walking into the kitchen, out of breath and with a face the same colour as my new helmet, the laughter and bike jokes started! All changed as we strapped Emily into the helmet, shoved her on the bike and pushed her down the hill as she attempted to dodge stationary cars while making rather hilarious sound effects! Safe to say I am the better cyclist (though she pulls the hat off better!)Before returning to the house and ordering the largest takeaway known to man. (Operation what-now?)

Today has also been a day of realisation. Realisation that is, that Emily and Liv don't know their times tables and the QTS Maths standards tests are the most horrendous things ever to be brought into existence. So after many hilarious questions and four failed attempts to figure out that 8 x 3 is in fact 24. We came to the realisation that these tests are going to require a heck of a lot more revision that initially thought! Though why a Foundation Stage Teacher needs to know fractions, percentages, long division and algebra is beyond me!

This question was taken from the practise paper and you are given 10 seconds to answer it before the next is read out.

As part of the numeracy work in a lesson, pupils were asked to stretch a spring to 
extend its length by 40 per cent. The original length of the spring was 45 centimetres. 
What should be the length of the extended spring? Give your answer in centimetres.

A teacher took a group of pupils to an aquarium whilst visiting France. The total 
entrance cost for the group was 160 euros.
Taking 1.6 euros as equal to 1 pound, what was the total entrance cost, in pounds, 
for the group of pupils?

These are all non calculator questions, so I think you can see why we were beginning to panic!

The highlight of the evening award however, goes to Emily for being sat at the dinner table with Giant Sunglasses, bright blue Atari headphones and a rather sequinned top hat.

(This post may be updated when the photos of Emily bombing it down the hill in a red helmet come in to fruition :-D )

Monday, 3 September 2012

Things you figure out when you don’t have the internet!

So, the residents of 29 St Ann’s Avenue were without broadband for 72 hours (or a TV Licence!) and during this stressful period many revelations were uncovered. Here are just some of the things you can discover when you are stuck without the wonder that is the tinterweb.

·         You actually have house mates, they are wonderful people who will help you through this difficult period in your life
·         Conversations will revolve around food, relationships and sex
·         You will consume more food out of sheer boredom than you would usually eat in a week
·         Looking out of the window is fascinating and will entertain you for hours, especially if it’s raining
·         The kitchen will become spotless as all confused house mates will gather and for no apparent reason start cleaning
·         It is a perfect opportunity to look for jobs, spend 4 hours finishing and perfecting your CV and then get irrationally angry when you remember there is no internet and you can’t email said CV to potential employers.
·         It doesn't matter how many times you press refresh, the internet will not magically come back on
·         None of your neighbours have kindly set their wireless passwords to “password”
·         Uncomfortable silences happen often
·         You learn more about your house mates in a few hours than you have in 4 years
·         Kelly Clarkson does not just help you through break ups, dancing to her in the kitchen can also help during through internet black-outs

But most importantly…
·         Despite the absence of internet you still lack the will power to actually venture out in to the world